You'd rather listen to Bruce Springsteen than Bocephus....
You don't know the difference between kudzu and Kung Fu...
The thought of eating scrapple does not turn your stomach
You think SKOAL is an institute of learning.
You own more than 3 shirts......and at least 2 are clean
One of them shirts is pink!!!!
You have no shirts with the sleeves cut off
You've never planned your vacation around a gun n knife show
You believe more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the head football coach..
The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from geting on an on ramp on the highway
The furtherest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at neiman Marcus
You call binoculars..opera glasses..
You do not know what an applique is.
You think barbecue is a verb..meaning to cook outside..
You prefer potatos au gratin to GRITS.
You've never seen a live chicken.
You've never had grain alcohol.
You have no idea of what a polecat is.
You do not have bangs.
You really see nothing wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
More than two generations in your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
You'd rather your son become a lawyer than You've never been to a craft show
You do not have any doilies and certainly do not know haw to make one.
You freaked out when someone spoke to you on the subway
You can not do your laundry without quarters
You barbecue on an electric grill
You have no jeans with the legs cut off
You think Kudzu is a cartoon...
You think Goo Goo is baby talk...
You consider goose bumps normal at the beach...
Your car battery is good to 50 below...
you've never eaten a boiled peanut..
* You don't have any hats in your closet advertising for a feed store. You do not think WD-40 is a great substitute for Vitalis... You think Heinz Katsup is spicy.. You've never had a Moon Pie... You've never had an aunt who won the pickling contest at the county fair... You say hey "You Guys".....even when both are women... You'd rather go to Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork... You have no problem pronouncing worcestershire sauce correctly. You've never heard of Carolina Treet. You don't think Howard Stern has an accent. None of your fur coats are homemade. None of your relatives are named Homer. Instead of a truck, you own a sport utility vehicle. You thought all those vittles on The Beverly Hillbillies was just a joke. You've never given your wife a new septic tank for an anniversary present.. Your momma never ran off with the neighbor's dog...