Many times people send me these one liners and jokes concerning genealogy. I love them. So, of course, here is a page for all of them as I have quite a few now.
..big pumpkin..will it break the record..??..
..7 Word Obituary..
A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.
She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, let it read, ‘Billy Bob died’.”
Amused at the woman’s thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma’am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries.”
Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, “In that case, let it read, ‘Billy Bob died – 1983 Pick-up for sale.'”
My family tree must have been used for firewood!
Genealogists never die, they just lose their census.
Genealogy Humor Page
.. Genealogy Humor ..
1. My family coat of arms ties at the back….is that normal?
2. My family tree is a few branches short! All help appreciated.
3. My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!
4. Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
5. My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets.
6. How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE??
7. I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap.
8. I’m not stuck, I’m ancestrally challenged.
9. I’m searching for myself; Have you seen me?
10. If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help…
11. Isn’t genealogy fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more!
12. It’s 2000… Do you know where your-Gr-Gr-Grandparents are?
13. A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
14. A family tree can wither if nobody tends it’s roots.
15. A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away.
16. After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.
17. Am I the only person up my tree… sure seems like it.
18. Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts and a few bad apples.
19. Can a first cousin once removed..RETURN?
20. FLOOR: The place for storing your priceless genealogy records.
21. Gene-Allergy: It’s a contagious disease, but I love it.
22. Genealogists are time unravelers.
23. Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide… I seek!
24. Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
25. “Crazy” is a relative term in my family.
26. A pack rat is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
27. I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand.
28. I Should have asked them BEFORE they died!
29. I think my ancestors had several “Bad heir” days.
30. I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the JUNEflower.
31. Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress.
32. Share your knowledge; it is a way to achieve immortality.
33. Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
34. It’s an unusual family that hath neither a lady of the evening or thief.
35. Many a family tree needs pruning.
36. Shh! Be very, very quiet…. I’m hunting forebears.
37. Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!
38. That’s strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN!
39. I’m not sick, I’ve just got fading genes.
40. Genealogists live in the past lane.
41. Cousins marrying cousins: Very tangled roots!
42. Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree.
43. All right! Everybody out of the gene pool!
44. Always willing to share my ignorance…
45. Documentation… The hard part..
46. Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
47. Genealogy… will I ever find time to mow the lawn again?
48. All the really important information is on that missing page
49. I researched my family tree… and apparently I don’t exist!
50. SO MANY ANCESTORS………………………SO LITTLE TIME!
Could Taz be researching his genealogy too..?!!?..
At the time when all American pioneers were heading west I think mine were all heading east..
MMM..after collecting old photographs from five generations I find I look like none of them..
..You may be addicted to genealogy if..
you’d rather go to a cemetery than a mall
you brake for libraries
you hyperventilate at the site of an old cemetery
you think every home should have a microfilm reader
you know every town clerk in your state by name
you get locked in the library over night and never even notice
you are more interested in what happened in 1667 than 1997
you store your clothes under your bed..the closet is carefully stocked with notebooks and journals
you can pinpoint Harrietsham, Hawkhurst and Kent on a map of England, but can not locate Topeka Kansas
You’ve traced some of your ancestors back to Adam and Eve, have it documented and still do not want to quit.
When researching the name Murphrey all information available will be on the name Murphy..
The courthouse burned two years after my gggg grandfather’s will was probated
..Rednecks n Genealogy..
Rednecks n Genealogy
Now you know you just might be one if..
You go to the family reunion to meet women..
your family tree consists of you and yer dog..
Your coat of arms has kudzu in it..
all the guests sat on one side of the church during your wedding
Your family tree does not fork..
You an your wife’s family reunion are one and the same..
You go to the local post office to research your family tree..
Your gene pool does not have a deep end..
your family tree is HOLLOW
The Budweiser symbol is your coat of arms
Your family tree goes in a circle..
your wedding looks more like a family reunion..
I will add more if I find any..If you have any send em to me…
..visit all my joke pages..truckers..jokes..Dukes of Hazzard..
..GENEALOGY..what day were you born on?..NAMES..On This Day in History..Monday’s Child etc poem..recipes….MY Roots..
..Dukes of Hazzard..
Quiz and Trivia..CB handles..how many do ya remember..??..