..Praise God..

..well behaved women rarely make history..

..I barely survived yesterday..and it’s already today..

..no habla espanol..

..everyone is born right-handed..only the gifted over-come it..

..duct tape specialist…

..Shalom y’all..

..leave room in the garden for the fairies to dance..P>….FARTACUS..

..if you met my famly you’d understand..

..in wine there is wisdom..in beer there is freedom…in water there is bacteria..

..when do telemarketers eat dinner..
..I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol..

..anyone who says money can’t buy happiness..never had season tickets..

..same manure..different day..

Are you ready to start playing at an online casino? Then you may want to start with a simple game, like playing slots online.

..to err is human..to forgive devine..neither is my policy..
..do not meddle in the affairs of dragons..for you are crunchy and taste good with ketsup..
~~a woman needs only 4 animals in her life..a mink on her back..a jaguar in her garage..a tiger in her bed..and a jackass to pay for it all..!!..

~~sometimes I just wish that someone who understands me would tell me what I mean~~
..How about a nice tall glass of never gonna happen..

..I love my country it’s the government I’m afraid of..

..only 1 shopping day left till tomorrow..

..I just wish my mouth had a BACKSPACE key..
..If you obey all the rules..life is no fun..
..all I ask for is a chance to prove that money can’t make you happy..

..the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths..

..I wish I could relate to the people I’m related to..

~~I used to think drinking was bad for me..so I gave up thinking~~

..I’ve tried relaxing..but I feel more comfortable tense..
..5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions..
..please cover your fat..

..why do psychics have to ask for your name..??..
..get a new car for your spouse..it’ll be a great trade..

..the only mark I’ve made in life is in my underwear..
..still have my 8-tracks..

…with luck and planning I’ll retire at 149..

..my life is a reality show..
..technologically challenged..
..I’m not bald I’m follicularly challenged..
..if you think nobody cares..try missing a few payments..

..I scare my own family..

..WARNING..I have GAS and I know how to use it..

..people like you are the reason people like me need medication..
make someone’s day..mind your own business..
..it matters not weather you win or lose..it matters weather I win or lose..
..no one knows the trouble I’ve been..
..make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot..

..things to do today..

..get up..
..go back to bed..

..how true..how true..

..you bet your kielbasa I’m Polish..
..when all else fails..manipulate the data..
..doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected..??..

..I don’t suffer from anxiety..I enjoy every minute of it..

..I have multiple personalities and none of them like you..!!..

..there’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure..

..Please..reboot me..

..too bad ignorance isn’t curable..
I see you’re playing stupid again..and..you’re winning..
It’s better to have loved and lost than to Live with the psycho the rest of your life..
..change is for people who aren’t already perfect..

..I’ve forgotten more things than you’ll ever know..
I could drive a psychiatrist crazy

..even my issues have issues..
..I have no idea what I am doing out of bed..

..how come everybody else yells BINGO and all I yell is **&^%$#@&..

I use to think chocolate was bad for you..so I stopped thinking..

my wife is Queen of everything..I’m King of what’s left..
..nobody listens to me tll I fart..
..where’s yer mute button..??..

..love him like a King train him like a dog..
..my giveadammer is broke..

..I came I saw..I duct taped..

What’s life without ducttape..??..

professional sofa loafer

..some days you’re the bug..somedays you’re the windshield

go for it..then get lost..

..make someone’s day..mind your own business

..a closed mouth gathers no feet..

..to err is human to purr feline..

..I use to care now I take a pill for that..

..visit all my joke pages..truckers..jokes..Dukes of Hazzard..


..genealogy jokes..


more jokes

..gettin old..




..GENEALOGY..what day were you born on?..NAMES..On This Day in History..Monday’s Child etc poem..recipes….MY Roots..

..Dukes of Hazzard..

Quiz and Trivia..CB handles..how many do ya remember..??..