..REDNECK OLYMPIKS..

..Professional Redneck Athletes are needed for the “Backwoods Redneck Olympics” which will be held in Crager’s Park on Sunday February 19….athletes must be at least sixteen years of age in order to participate.. ..Twenty thousand-five “athletes” are expected to compete..while 25 to 30 spectators are expected..Olympians will be awarded Mason-jar lid medallions ….The Olympic events start at 3pm and are as follows:

..ridin de tire..

..forget the luge..man when you get these things going ya can never stop..the surrounding countries are warned to be looking for these contestants to be flying by..

..Redneck Tractor Pull

..this oughtta be a lotta fun out in de snow..

..In our neck of the woods..the tractor is pulled by the redneck!..There will be in competition to see who can pull the tractor the furthest distance in the shortest time. Do not try this one at home folks!..

..we sure hope there is enough ice to make this a real interesting..butt-busting contest..

..Wheel Barrel Race..

..Each redneck will be driving a wheel barrel filled with three fifty pound sacks of potatoes..the object is to drive the wheel barrel through the obstacle course without spilling the load..in order to maintain the true look of a redneck, each driver will be provided with a beautiful straw hat which must be worn with a smile..

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Redneck Horseshoes..

Real rednecks don’t use horseshoes! They use toilet seats! Do you think you can throw a ringer? This one is going to be a real hoot!..

.. Grapefruiit Seed Spitting Contest ..

..Now how could an Olympics be complete without this event? Each redneck athlete will be asked to “bob” for a grapefruit from a toilet bowl! Don’t worry – the toilet will be a never used model! The athlete will then spit the seeds through a hoop and into a drum to be counted. Style is everything in this event..

..Log Rolling Contest..

..This contest is no hands on! One way or another..but without using their hands..the redneck athletes competing in this contest need to roll their log across the frozen river and into a small opening at the finish line..

Corn Shucking Contest

This is a timed event. Each Redneck Athlete will be given 3 dried ears of corn..The first athlete to shuck the kernels off of all three ears just might be a Redneck Olympic winner..

Rock Skipping Contest

..To be held on the pond inside the park. Redneck rocks will be provided. Two tries per athlete.

..Hillbilly Pumpkin Toss..

..they may be a bit mushy by now..but bring em on..this one should be self explanatory folks! Start practicing at home..

~admin