Serve red Kool Aid punch at their party..
Get upset cause all the Tractor Pull Valentine Cards are gone..
buy their sweetie the biggest bag of M and Ms they can find
..take their mama to the Sweetheart’s Dance..
Wipe out the local truck stop buying goodies for their Sweethearts..
Pay more for their dog’s Valentine card then their wifes…
.. get their sweeties Moon Pies n Slim Jims..

..Ya just might be one in..

You’re taking yer cousin Martha Sue to the Sweetheart’s Dance..
yer ma ma’s drivin ya..
you had to tell Aunt Ellen and Cousin Perl you couldn’t take em you already had a date..
..ya bought yer wife the last dozen roses at K-Mart
You got your honey the very last box of Unkle Klems Chawklits..

for the party yer servin Spam and Jell-o in little heart shapes
..ya bought yer wife a card with a Nascar emblem on it..
..she was delighted..
instead of gettin yer sweetie the silk roses ya got the polyester cauz they were on sale..

..You are takin yer momma to the Possum Dinner..
..it’s being held at Town Halll..
your dream date wuld have been Jethro Bodene or Elly Mae..